Why I Never Want To Fall In Love

It’s apparently all the rage to fall in love.  I hear a range of people claiming they’ve fallen in love, from close friends to celebrities prancing around on the red carpet. But when I look at that phrase “falling in love” it doesn’t sound remotely like it would climb to the top of my to-do list. Falling in love sounds disorienting and debilitating. Falling in love reminds me of falling as a kid and the height of the fall correlated with the extent of the damage. I would fall while walking and scrape my knees on the gravel road, which still stung from the rocks piercing my delicate skin, but the damage was relatively manageable with peroxide (which I’m convinced Satan created himself), Neosporin and a Band-Aid. My sister however, was standing on a chair when she fell and ended up breaking her arm. We both fell, but one resulted in more severe damage.

If falling regularly relates to detrimental experiences is there even a sliver of hope for our infatuated, fantasy-land-living generation? In the Bible, references to “fallen” are rarely good things. For starters, in Luke it says, “I saw satan fall from Heaven like lightening from Heaven.” We have the fall of Satan. That’s not convincing me to warm up to the idea of falling.  Sin entering the world is often referred to as “the fall of man.” That’s definitely negative. 1 Timothy speaks about some people will “fall away from the faith.” Again. Not shining a positive light on falling. There’s another option for us all though, because I noticed the Bible not only mentions God walking about in the garden with Adam and Eve, but even emphasizes walking in love.

Falling in love vs. walking in love

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children;  and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.” Ephesians 5:2

Maybe it’s not about falling in love, but walking in love.

“And this is love: that we walk in obedience to his commands. As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love.” 2 John 1:6

Maybe it’s not about falling in obedience, but walking in obedience.

“For we walk by faith, not by sight.” 2 Corinthians 5:7

Maybe it’s not about falling by faith, but walking by faith.

To walk is to steady our pace. To steady our hearts. I believe walking requires maturity and patience. Making a mad-dash, hasty rush into a relationship could end up with a heart in shambles. It makes sense to me now. Instead of relationships with people winding up with bruised hearts, banged knees curled up in a ball sobbing on their floor because they fell in love we can now walk in love hand in hand, our eyes looking forward, our legs moving forward, all moving at a steady, harmonious pace. Not too fast. Not too slow, but just right as two people move simultaneously in the same direction. You see some people sign up for fast-food love cycling through men like a washing machine cycles through the spin settings, but I want a Crockpot love.  A love that over time begins to permeate the atmosphere with an overwhelming pleasant aroma. A love that requires patience and endurance as it develops. A love that doesn’t start out like a firework with a dramatic display of lights and sounds only to fade and fizzle out faster than my once-neon swimsuit after being washed three times. I don’t want a love that spreads like a forest fire destroying every living thing in its path, but a love that’s kindled in a contained campfire and gently fanned each passing day.

There’s a difference between reality-TV, sappy rom-com love and biblical love. Falling in love is more like falling in feelings and as your feelings fluctuate, so does your willingness to remain in that relationship. When you fall in love your emotions get all tangled up, but when you walk in love your emotions are stabilized.  Falling in love causes a commotion, while walking in love causes a commitment between two people.