God wants me to use the F word?

  Lately, I’ve been fighting against forgiveness. It’s not that I don’t want to forgive. It’s simply my sinful heart intervenes and my brain likes to remind me of the pain in my past. When someone hurts me my natural response is as easy as 1-2-3.1. Get Defensive  This might look like, “Well, I MAY have done that BUT you DID XYZ which is way worse.” I may want to control you and my insecurities led me to look through your phone, but you talked to your ex-girlfriend and lied to me about it. I make sure to take the spotlight off my sin (jealously, insecurity, control) and shine that sucker right back at someone else (cheating and lying).  2. Seek Revenge If I can’t be happy then you definitely don’t deserve to be happy. You hurt me. I will strategically think of ways to seek revenge. I don’t get mad. I get even. Sound familiar? Ideally, our happiness should not be dependent on our circumstance or people, but we are human and sometimes we find our happiness hangs on to another human. It doesn’t make it right. It’s just reality. 3. A Match Made in Misery They say misery loves company. If […]

Continue Reading

Future Forgiveness

Omnipresent. Omnipotent. Omniscient. These words, used to described God, in my mind painted a picture of a creepy creator instead of a comforting creator. It described God as some supernatural stalker instead of someone who sent a savior to die for my sins. Oh, but how grateful I am to grasp the gospel now and delight in the description of God being all-knowing, all-present, and all-powerful .  Deuteronomy 31:8 reads “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave your nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  Man, God has gone before me? How do I begin to wrap my mind around that? He knows what the future holds and he holds my future in his hands? Now, this provides peace and encouragement. When I think about the struggles I will face in the future it fortifies my faith knowing I am not alone.  I have someone on my side who will NEVER leave me. He will NEVER forsake me. That’s a promise. But, then I got to thinking about this verse and meditating on the idea that God has foreknowledge. Wait, if he is all-knowing then when I get caught up in […]

Continue Reading