Jesus Frees Us | You freed me from my chains

How I knew my husband was the one

April 3, 2019 1 Comment

Today my husband and I are celebrating our two year anniversary. To commemorate the day, I wanted to share a never-been-told story – the moment I knew I wanted to spend forever with Ashiram. For those who aren’t familiar with our love story, let me give you a quick overview. Ashiram, who was living in Nigeria at the time, found my writing online. When he went to my Facebook page, he saw my semi-recent baptism picture and was intrigued. He sent a simple and kind message to me about the power of my writing to draw people to Christ. About a month later I saw the message and we began exchanging messages back and forth. We bonded over Jesus and country music. And, well, now we’ve been married two whole years. Told you it would be a quick overview! As you can imagine, the world of online dating can make determining if someone could be your significant other a challenge. You can’t really see that person in “all seasons” as the Christian people always recommend for dating. All you have to go on is communication to build a foundation for your relationship, which is one of the strongest foundations in […]

Life lesson

What I learned during three weeks of temporary parenting

January 29, 2019 No Comments

In Uganda, children get a long break from school over the Christmas holiday. Most kids are out of school from the beginning of December to the beginning of February. My husband and I decided it would be good to have Harunah, the boy my mother-in-law takes care of, come stay with us in the city and experience Kampala. But in a moment of brilliant thinking, I recommended inviting another boy who is Harunah’s age to stay with us too. My logic was they would have each other to play with. It seemed harmless, but I wasn’t prepared for all that comes with taking care of two boys. After three weeks of temporary parenting, here are the lessons I learned as a mom aka meal-making machine. 1. I’m the one in charge Because I was trying to juggle working from home and keeping kids alive, I had a rule to only come in my room if there was an absolute emergency. I guess the word “emergency” is vague because I heard knocks on my door every fifteen minutes. Sometimes Harunah would come in, tell me what Jeremy did wrong and then I would say, “Oh, that’s too bad.” Until it dawned on […]

Life lesson

When rejection reveals your purpose

September 6, 2018 4 Comments

Right after college, I went headfirst into a corporate environment. My goal was to get my foot in the door and rise up in the ranks. In typical Millennial fashion, a fire ignited inside of me at the thought of all the possibilities within my reach. To my surprise, I actually loved my job as an administrative assistant in the marketing department. As much as I found fulfillment in my current role, I knew I needed a career path that didn’t include getting coffee for the CMO or planning the lunch menu for an offsite. An administrative assistant position could only take me so far before I reached a dead end. The communications department drew my attention. I always wanted to be a storyteller and why not capture the stories of the talented, passionate people I worked with? A job opened up that was about four levels higher than my current position. I didn’t know this at the time, but it’s almost impossible to make that career move without some serious approvals. I approached my manager with the opportunity and he said, “Go for it!” With his blessing, I typed up my application in a frenzy. Was I naive? Possibly. […]

Comparison

I’m secretly sipping from the cup of comparison

August 24, 2018 8 Comments

Comparison steals your joy jealous girls envious coworkers christian comparison

I’m secretly sipping from the cup of comparison, but all it’s doing is leaving a bad taste in my mouth. Chances are either you, or a friend of yours, has taken a break from social media because they feel inundated with “my life is better than yours” messages on a daily basis. You can go from happy to hopeless in a matter of seconds after scrolling through Facebook or Instagram. You thought you had your life together? Well, think again Sloppy Sue because Perfect Patty just cooked a six-course meal, while sanding her new kitchen table, painting a statement door, and making sure to whip up something like this for her kids. I totally get it. I’ve never been one to be jealous of a friend getting married and beginning her happily ever after. I always thought getting married before the age of 25 was a lot like leaving a party before 10 anyway. And baby announcements don’t send me into a panic just because I feel like it should be my turn to enjoy baby bliss. I don’t get jealous of seeing girls with a six-pack, mainly because I would never forfeit my ice cream for a butt without […]

Dating, Insecurity, Marriage, Redemption, Self worth

You can still wear white

July 6, 2018 No Comments

I woke up my heart racing from another vivid dream. In this dream, I was distraught, crying out and repenting for not keeping the marriage bed clean. I wore shame like my personal scarlet letter, dragging it around with me wherever I went. The closer the day came to walking down the aisle the more I felt unworthy to wed Ashiram. I tried to shake the shame away, fumbled to the bathroom and repeated Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No matter how many times I said it, I still felt the weight of the woman I used to be. I eventually gave up, looked in the mirror and pleaded in prayer, “God help me to see myself as you see me.” As I began to tell Ashiram, my soon-to-be-husband, about my dream he sent me a song that came to mind as he prayed for me. Simply reading the title of the song brought tears to my eyes. As I listened to the lyrics, my tears quietly flowed down my cheeks. Through these words, he shined a light on the shame that was strangling me. “Baby you can still wear […]

Life lesson

Laughing Our Way Back to Life

March 28, 2018 No Comments

christian encouragement and jokes to make you laugh

I displayed a sign proudly on my desk at work that said, “Ask me for the laugh of the day.” I would share a silly joke with any innocent bystander willing to take me up on the offer. Laughter rippled across cubicles as I shared cheesy jokes that should never see the light of day. Shortly after I started spewing out jokes, I began an intensive nine-month healing journey to recover from pain in my past. Dejected and deflated, I tucked the sign away in a drawer. For a season, life lost its color and I lost my laugh. A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13) My spirit had been crushed, but Jesus longed to restore my brokenness. As He tenderly returned laughter to my life, a new fervor erupted inside of me to loan laughs to others that may have lost their laugh along the way too. Laughter can’t erase our pain, but it can ease it. This revelation birthed the Laugh Stand. To finish reading this post, click here and join me today at Incourage. Sign up here to receive free notes from (in)courage, sent right to your inbox daily! Interested […]

Travel

Marriage is for keeps: Lessons from Cape Town

February 11, 2018 No Comments

I try to pretend I’m a laid back wife in marriage, but inside of me is an uptight, meticulous planner that continuously combats anxiety. I wanted to maximize our time in Cape Town, so our week was packed with back-to-back action. On Tuesday, I planned for us to take a stroll to Truth Coffee, the restaurant dubbed as the place with the best coffee in the world by The Telegraph. As a person who is convinced coffee is my love language, I couldn’t miss out on this. Bottoms up at Truth Coffee The place is famous for its steampunk-concept interior. That alone is worth the price of coffee. Then some words on the menu caught my eye. No sugar would be needed in their coffee because, well, they are the experts at crafting coffee. I’m the mandatory two spoons of sugar girl. I add it to everything. So, we ordered coffee to test the absurd claim and threw in a Croque Monsieur for good measure. . Out of everything I ate in Cape Town this was my favorite. The ham. The cheese. All my favorite food items melted together to devour. I’m pretty sure I gained twenty pounds on this […]

Travel

Day 1 in Cape Town: Traveling to the village

January 31, 2018 No Comments

Before Ashiram and I ever crossed paths, I randomly told someone I couldn’t date him because I was going to Africa the next year and all my dreams were coming true in a treehouse in Africa. Well, what do you know I DID end up going to Uganda the next year and the wedding venue Ashiram chose had just installed a treehouse. I’m still trying to figure out if it was prophetic or just extremely freaky. Naturally, when my husband and I sat down to plan accommodation in Cape Town, I instantly fell for this treehouse. We booked our first night in this treehouse which is out of the center of Cape Town. When we got to the airport, I requested for a Taxify and gave my husband the pleasure of trying to tell the driver where we were. Within seconds I had a man waving, flashing a big grin and asking to grab my suitcases. People had warned me about crime in Cape Town, so when he started walking away rather briskly I ran to catch up. Over the one-hour drive, we quickly found out Mdu is one of the best men ever. By the end of the trip, […]

Marriage, Uganda

Christmas and Cape Town

January 30, 2018 2 Comments

Honeymoon in Cape Town? Say no more. When my husband and I were dating, he mentioned wanting to spend our honeymoon in Cape Town. Once I did some research on Cape Town, I was hooked too. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to go to the adventure capital of the world? As I moved from America to Uganda and we planned our wedding it looked like an immediate honeymoon wasn’t in the cards. I gave him a hard time about this because I told him on multiple occasions I would get married under a mango tree as long as it meant we would have the opportunity to go on a honeymoon. After over a year of long-distance dating, I eagerly desired this time together before we began real life. A time to go away with my husband and build a bond as husband and wife. This didn’t happen. I eventually stopped pestering my husband about going on a honeymoon. A honeymoon wouldn’t magically change anything and I needed God to change my attitude and heart to one of contentment instead. But then on Christmas morning, he handed me a present. I opened it to see a book staring back at […]

Uganda

The Long Way

November 20, 2017 No Comments

I ran across Brett Eldredge’s and Sadie Robertson’s music video The Long Way today. Lyrics always unearth those deeply buried emotions and hidden longings inside of me. As I listened to the lyrics I imagined my husband and myself. I would love to show my husband where I grew up and take him the long way around my town. Instead, it seems like it’s taking a long time to get there. I often ask God, “Will he ever be allowed to see my world?” I’ve seen his world. I live in his world, and it’s now my world too, but a part of me longs for him to experience the part of the world that built me. It caused tension for us when we were dating long-distance. Nothing can draw a wedge like the frustrations of applying for a U.S. Visa. Lately, I rarely bring it up. People in America don’t understand why it’s not easy for him to just come over for a visit. Unfortunately, the world is unfair and certain citizens have more privileges than others. In this twisted life, my passport carries a different weight than his does. After being rejected twice for the tourist visa, I’ve […]