Dating Redefined: RelationTIPS for Tiffany

A while back, I asked my nine-year-old niece for dating advice, since I was clueless as to how to maintain a dating relationship post accepting Jesus as my one true love. I explained that Tiffany’s track record wasn’t something to brag about and I no longer wanted dating disasters but dating redefined and then redeemed. In short, I told her I messed up a lot in the past and it was my chance to start over and to create my own definition for dating. I posed the question, “How does a person who loves Jesus date?”  Christ had transformed me, so that means my dating life would need to be a reflection of that transformation.

I didn’t know where to start, so naturally I believed starting with someone that has literally zero dating experience would be the perfect place. That’s the funny thing about God he doesn’t always use the people with a background in theology or a PHD in loveology (making things up now) he uses the people the world tends to scoff at or the people that you would have sought as a last resort for spiritual wisdom. Just like in 1 Corinthians 1:27 Paul mentions that the people God calls are usually not the ones who are wise by human standards or influential. That pretty much sums up Serenity from a worldly perspective, but in my book I would definitely go to her with the questions that stump me in life. Serenity sorts it out. I’ve learned the wisest people on this planet can be categorized into two groups – the young and the old. The young group hasn’t yet seen the complexity in life. For them decisions are simple.  Their judgment isn’t clouded by the tough experiences life will eventually throw their way. For the most part, everything is black and white. They do not over analyze their choices in life. They just do from a pure and innocent heart.
What would happen if we just DID out of the overflow of love in our heart?  The elderly have already experienced all the complications and complexities in life and resort back to simplicity. It always seems to circle back to simplifying your situation. I often tell people at work, “Don’t make your day harder than it has to be.” I believe I could easily say, “Don’t make dating harder than it has to be.” Dating shouldn’t be difficult. It requires work and can be stressful at times, but the person you are dating should be your teammate in life – not your opponent. To add to the sports reference, they should be the one helping you toward your goals and sharing in life’s victories with you, not keeping you from them. They might not always be on the field with you. There are some games you have to play solo in life, but they should still be in the stands cheering you on, encouraging you to WIN and if you don’t win willing to stick by your side during the loss. Women don’t want a world of bandwagon boyfriends, but a world full of men who will fight through the failures and celebrate the successes.
It’s that simple. Find someone sold out for Jesus. Together you can do what two people who are sold out for Jesus should do – live for the Lord in a more powerful way by continually looking to Him instead of each other. You just have to find out what Jesus means to each other and grow from there. I can’t think of a better foundation to have than one rooted firmly in Christ. Sometimes you just have to hear it from the heart of a child.  I always try to complicate everything in my life and it’s refreshing to get back to the basics. Now, I see why Jesus said we must be like children to get through the gates of heaven and have a childlike faith. Children love unconditionally. Children take the things adults complicate and simplify them. Children have not been crushed and confused by the weight of the world. Children just love. They don’t have a list of requirements, prerequisites or prejudices. If you have any questions for my nine-year-old niece leave them in the comments below and she might just be featured in future blogging.  Thanks for reading! I enjoyed the company.

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