You can still wear white

Christian women with low self worth

I woke up my heart racing from another vivid dream. In this dream, I was distraught, crying out and repenting for not keeping the marriage bed clean. I wore shame like my personal scarlet letter, dragging it around with me wherever I went. The closer the day came to walking down the aisle the more I felt unworthy to wed Ashiram. I tried to shake the shame away, fumbled to the bathroom and repeated Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No matter how many times I said it, I still felt the weight of the woman I used to be. I eventually gave up, looked in the mirror and pleaded in prayer, “God help me to see myself as you see me.” As I began to tell Ashiram, my soon-to-be-husband, about my dream he sent me a song that came to mind as he prayed for me. Simply reading the title of the song brought tears to my eyes. As I listened to the lyrics, my tears quietly flowed down my cheeks. Through these words, he shined a light on the shame that was strangling me. “Baby you can still wear […]

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Who Is The Perfect Christian Man?

perfect christian man to marry or date

Recently I was asked to speak at a women’s conference in Uganda. Outwardly I reflected my cool, calm demeanor, but inwardly my stomach instantly tied into knots. Passing out from anxiety seemed imminent. You can check out my blog Fear of Rejection to see where this reaction stems from. As my friend shared with me the topic for the conference I couldn’t help but roar with laughter.   Who is the perfect christian man?   I would have to be the bearer of bad news and tell these women the perfect man does not exist. I wish a perfect man existed because then my marriage would be easy with zero headaches or hassles. I hope no ladies are out there holding their breath for that perfect christian man to waltz on up and whisk you away as the sun dips behind a glowing horizon. As it stands, we may not be able to pick the perfect man, but we can choose a man who is pursuing the Lord with all his heart and aiming for godliness. A few years ago I asked my niece for advice on how to pick the person you should date. You would think she had […]

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9 Lessons Learned in the First 90 Days of Marriage

Christian Marriage

Today marks three months of marriage for my husband and I. There are days marriage is so easy I think everybody should do it, and there are days it’s so hard I wonder why anybody does it. On February 26, 2017 I wheeled my two suitcases and two carry on bags into DFW airport to begin a departure to a relatively unknown life. I felt this gnawing growing inside my core reminding me life as I’ve known it would never be the same. With a parade of thoughts swirling in my mind, I resolutely boarded the plane to take me halfway around the world to a different home. Some days I sensed I was hitting the ground running in Uganda, other days I felt like flattened roadkill plastered on the hot pavement wanting desperately for someone to scrape me off the ground. I’m thankful for a husband that constantly helps me navigate the new world I am in, extends grace when I am cranky, practices patience during my culture shock spasms and loves me without faltering. I am no expert in marriage, but I am an expert in learning and have compiled nine essential lessons I’ve learned in the first 90 days […]

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Why I Never Want To Fall In Love

It’s apparently all the rage to fall in love.  I hear a range of people claiming they’ve fallen in love, from close friends to celebrities prancing around on the red carpet. But when I look at that phrase “falling in love” it doesn’t sound remotely like it would climb to the top of my to-do list. Falling in love sounds disorienting and debilitating. Falling in love reminds me of falling as a kid and the height of the fall correlated with the extent of the damage. I would fall while walking and scrape my knees on the gravel road, which still stung from the rocks piercing my delicate skin, but the damage was relatively manageable with peroxide (which I’m convinced Satan created himself), Neosporin and a Band-Aid. My sister however, was standing on a chair when she fell and ended up breaking her arm. We both fell, but one resulted in more severe damage. If falling regularly relates to detrimental experiences is there even a sliver of hope for our infatuated, fantasy-land-living generation? In the Bible, references to “fallen” are rarely good things. For starters, in Luke it says, “I saw satan fall from Heaven like lightening from Heaven.” We have the […]

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Dating Redefined: RelationTIPS for Tiffany

A while back, I asked my nine-year-old niece for dating advice, since I was clueless as to how to maintain a dating relationship post accepting Jesus as my one true love. I explained that Tiffany’s track record wasn’t something to brag about and I no longer wanted dating disasters but dating redefined and then redeemed. In short, I told her I messed up a lot in the past and it was my chance to start over and to create my own definition for dating. I posed the question, “How does a person who loves Jesus date?”  Christ had transformed me, so that means my dating life would need to be a reflection of that transformation.   I didn’t know where to start, so naturally I believed starting with someone that has literally zero dating experience would be the perfect place. That’s the funny thing about God he doesn’t always use the people with a background in theology or a PHD in loveology (making things up now) he uses the people the world tends to scoff at or the people that you would have sought as a last resort for spiritual wisdom. Just like in 1 Corinthians 1:27 Paul mentions that […]

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