You can still wear white

Christian women with low self worth

I woke up my heart racing from another vivid dream. In this dream, I was distraught, crying out and repenting for not keeping the marriage bed clean. I wore shame like my personal scarlet letter, dragging it around with me wherever I went. The closer the day came to walking down the aisle the more I felt unworthy to wed Ashiram. I tried to shake the shame away, fumbled to the bathroom and repeated Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No matter how many times I said it, I still felt the weight of the woman I used to be. I eventually gave up, looked in the mirror and pleaded in prayer, “God help me to see myself as you see me.” As I began to tell Ashiram, my soon-to-be-husband, about my dream he sent me a song that came to mind as he prayed for me. Simply reading the title of the song brought tears to my eyes. As I listened to the lyrics, my tears quietly flowed down my cheeks. Through these words, he shined a light on the shame that was strangling me. “Baby you can still wear […]

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Christmas and Cape Town

Holiday and vacation in Cape Town

Honeymoon in Cape Town? Say no more. When my husband and I were dating, he mentioned wanting to spend our honeymoon in Cape Town. Once I did some research on Cape Town, I was hooked too. Who wouldn’t jump at the opportunity to go to the adventure capital of the world? As I moved from America to Uganda and we planned our wedding it looked like an immediate honeymoon wasn’t in the cards. I gave him a hard time about this because I told him on multiple occasions I would get married under a mango tree as long as it meant we would have the opportunity to go on a honeymoon.  After over a year of long-distance dating, I eagerly desired this time together before we began real life. A time to go away with my husband and build a bond as husband and wife. This didn’t happen. I eventually stopped pestering my husband about going on a honeymoon. A honeymoon wouldn’t magically change anything and I needed God to change my attitude and heart to one of contentment instead. But then on Christmas morning, he handed me a present. I opened it to see a book staring back at […]

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Who Is The Perfect Christian Man?

perfect christian man to marry or date

Recently I was asked to speak at a women’s conference in Uganda. Outwardly I reflected my cool, calm demeanor, but inwardly my stomach instantly tied into knots. Passing out from anxiety seemed imminent. You can check out my blog Fear of Rejection to see where this reaction stems from. As my friend shared with me the topic for the conference I couldn’t help but roar with laughter.   Who is the perfect christian man?   I would have to be the bearer of bad news and tell these women the perfect man does not exist. I wish a perfect man existed because then my marriage would be easy with zero headaches or hassles. I hope no ladies are out there holding their breath for that perfect christian man to waltz on up and whisk you away as the sun dips behind a glowing horizon. As it stands, we may not be able to pick the perfect man, but we can choose a man who is pursuing the Lord with all his heart and aiming for godliness. A few years ago I asked my niece for advice on how to pick the person you should date. You would think she had […]

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9 Lessons Learned in the First 90 Days of Marriage

Christian Marriage

Today marks three months of marriage for my husband and I. There are days marriage is so easy I think everybody should do it, and there are days it’s so hard I wonder why anybody does it. On February 26, 2017 I wheeled my two suitcases and two carry on bags into DFW airport to begin a departure to a relatively unknown life. I felt this gnawing growing inside my core reminding me life as I’ve known it would never be the same. With a parade of thoughts swirling in my mind, I resolutely boarded the plane to take me halfway around the world to a different home. Some days I sensed I was hitting the ground running in Uganda, other days I felt like flattened roadkill plastered on the hot pavement wanting desperately for someone to scrape me off the ground. I’m thankful for a husband that constantly helps me navigate the new world I am in, extends grace when I am cranky, practices patience during my culture shock spasms and loves me without faltering. I am no expert in marriage, but I am an expert in learning and have compiled nine essential lessons I’ve learned in the first 90 days […]

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