Chosen, Testimony

Are You Called To Be A Catalyst?

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Catalyst: A person or event that quickly causes change or action   Billy Graham is known as an evangelistic preacher that has shared the gospel with millions of people in over 185 countries. When I see a man that has been exalted by the Lord I often ask, “How did he get his start?” After doing some research, I found out two catalytic events in Billy Graham’s life:   1) A person’s pivotal prayer 2) A man’s faithfulness to respond to God’s call   Vernon’s Pivotal Prayer   Billy Graham was a small-town farm boy. According to the Billy Graham website, one day there was a prayer meeting being held in the pasture of his family’s farm. Little did Billy know that day a man named Vernon Patterson prayed that God would raise up someone from Charlotte to preach the Gospel to the ends of the earth. An earnest prayer preceded Billy Graham’s encounter with Jesus.   Mordecai’s Call To Be a Catalyst   A few months later Mordecai Ham, a traveling evangelist, preached an 11-week revival where Billy, on a whim, attended. Not many people know Mordecai Ham’s name, but many are familiar with Billy Graham’s legacy. Mordecai was […]

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Grace, Testimony

What Easter means to me: A tale of two Tiffanys

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It hurts me even to look at the picture on the left. It’s one of those sharp-inhale-hold-my-breath kind of hurts.  I close my eyes and cry for that lost girl, but my tears also flow from a place of fervent gratefulness that the lost girl can triumphantly say, “ I WAS lost, but NOW I’ve been found. Who I was is not who I am in Christ today.” The girl on the left was completely intoxicated. The girl on the left had just offered lap dances in exchange for dollar bills. The girl on the left was groped to the point her dress is practically falling off her. The girl on the left used alcohol to attempt to poison the pain inside of her. Yet the girl on the left is smiling. That’s the most agonizing part of the picture is the sorrow that can often remain a secret behind a smile. The happiness we can project even when we are up to our eyeballs in hurt and havoc. I often think of Saul/Paul, the man who wrote the majority of the New Testament and endured jail, multiple beatings and shipwrecks for Christ. Before Paul’s conversion he was killing christians. He […]

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Life lesson, Testimony

Am I in an abusive relationship?

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Being in an abusive relationship is often alternating between fear and love.

I remember a night cowering in the corner as my boyfriend at the time lifted his fist to hit me. He never followed through, but I remember thinking in my mind, “Please, not this again.” I had just gotten out of an abusive relationship and by “gotten out” I mean this person went to jail and that seemed like the opportune time to make my getaway. My past is not pretty. I was reckless in relationships and allowed people to control and manipulate me. I struggle with codependency and people-pleasing which is pretty much a recipe for disaster unless I am aware of these characteristics and make a conscious effort to run in the opposite direction of them. I find a sick fulfillment in emptying myself out to “fix” a person. Maybe this is a healthy quality in some situations,  but when it comes to your significant other it will only lead to destruction and result in wrong relationship repetition.  Like a dog to its vomit, so a fool repeats her folly. I was a fool. In order to break a stronghold, you must first recognize it as one. It’s that one thing you can’t seem to shake. The one thing that snaps you […]

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Testimony, Uncategorized

The Mess before The Miracle

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I think if I had to pick a verse that represented my journey the past seven months it would be John 9:6-9. “After saying this, he spit on the ground, made some mud with the saliva, and put it on the man’s eyes.“Go,” he told him, “wash in the Pool of Siloam” (this word means “Sent”). So the man went and washed, and came home seeing. His neighbors and those who had formerly seen him begging asked, “Isn’t this the same man who used to sit and beg?”  Some claimed that he was. Others said, “No, he only looks like him.” But he himself insisted, ‘I am the man.’” In this scene Jesus is healing a man blind since birth. What’s crazy is we are all born blind. We are stuck with a perpetual blindfold over our eyes until Jesus reveals himself to us. In that moment, the mask that’s been covering our eyes vanishes and we have a choice to walk with Jesus or to walk away. I did my fair share of walking away. Some days it felt more like sprinting away. Although I wasn’t physically blind, I was blind to the pain in my past. I was […]

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Redemption, Testimony, Uncategorized

It’s Never Too Late

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When I talk to people about my personal journey with Jesus sometimes I hear “It’s so awesome you turned to him at a young age and sought His healing for the harms in your past. But it’s way too late for me. My ship has sailed. I can’t do anything now. My life is beyond repair. I’ve screwed everything up.” I am troubled by this mindset and the lies we easily succumb to, but I also know I felt the exact same way. I’ve walked in those shoes. I didn’t think God’s forgiveness was for me. My sins were beyond his reach. I was brainwashed to believe my brokenness was way beyond what he could beautifully mend. My past was too wretched to be redeemed. Like a game of elementary school kickball, I didn’t think he picked me for the team.  I’d almost given up complete hope that my life could be turned around, but there was a sliver of my heart that believed just maybe what Jesus had to offer was true. All God needs is a sliver of your heart seeking him to show you who he is and his plans for your life. You see, the buzzer has not rung in this game […]

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Redemption, Testimony, Uncategorized

Every Day is Trash Day

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Sunday through Thursday a trash service comes to my apartment and retrieves my discarded trash for the day. As I was setting out the trash today I was reminded of how closely taking out the trash and God sending his son Jesus to this earth to walk with among us are related.  I know my way of thinking is often borderline bizarre, but hang in there with me as I try to explain myself. Let’s rewind and tie together the threads of my thought process that directed me to my destination. Every day we as humans accumulate trash. It’s pretty much unavoidable if you eat or own anything. If we didn’t take out our trash at least weekly and let it collect in our homes soon our house would start rotting and reeking from the inside out. Our homes would become uninhabitable and we would no longer be able to live freely inside. As more trash piles on top of more trash our own stench and garbage ends up swallowing us. But there’s a way to  rid yourself of your garbage and it’s simple. Ready for this? Take out your trash.  You see my garbage man isn’t going to come […]

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Testimony, Uncategorized

Tiffany’s Transitional Transformation Timeline

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Tiffany’s Transitional Transformation Timeline. Say that five times fast. It feels good to write again. The topic of transitions has been on my heart for a while, so I’ve decided to finally start writing it even though I have no idea what direction it will go in. I just have to keep typing one letter after another until it’s complete. This is just raw writing today. Pursuing progress not perfection I would love to say once I finally sought healing that God just transformed me over night. I would love to say that I woke up without any old habits trying to hold me hostage. The sin side effects still lingered. I’ve learned that when you desire long-lasting change there isn’t a quick fix. Imagine putting a spare tire on your car. It is designed to get you to the nearest tire shop to repair your car. It’s not meant to handle 5,000 additional miles. Driving on the spare for an extended amount of time will result in a blowout. How many of us our bracing for blowouts instead of reaching for a repair? If you put a Band-Aid on a wound that needs stitches you will soon realize that the healing you have is temporary. […]

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Testimony

To be or not to be…baptized?

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The other night I finally acknowledged my weirdness.  Most girls my age spend their time watching creative proposal videos (which to be clear there is nothing wrong with that and I’ve watched my fair share of flash-mob proposals). I, on the other hand, found myself enthralled by baptism videos. Seeing people moved by the Holy Spirit moves me to tears. Baptisms are such a beautiful representation of the transformation of one’s heart. If you ever need a “faith lift” just watch videos of lives changed and people deciding to leave the life they’ve known to follow Jesus. It doesn’t get more amazing than that. My mind began to wander to my recent baptism and the meaning in general behind it. On November 3, 2013 I was baptized at The River in The Colony, TX. Below is the email that I sent to my pastor leading up to my decision to be baptized and will explain exactly where my heart was in that moment followed by my post on Facebook the day of my baptism. This post is not in sync with how I usually write, but wanted to paint a picture of my personal baptism “journey.” Hi Sherman, You may or may not […]

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