When rejection reveals your purpose

rejection can lead to finding purpose

Right after college, I went headfirst into a corporate environment. My goal was to get my foot in the door and rise up in the ranks. In typical Millennial fashion, a fire ignited inside of me at the thought of all the possibilities within my reach. To my surprise, I actually loved my job as an administrative assistant in the marketing department. As much as I found fulfillment in my current role, I knew I needed a career path that didn’t include getting coffee for the CMO or planning the lunch menu for an offsite. An administrative assistant position could only take me so far before I reached a dead end. The communications department drew my attention. I always wanted to be a storyteller and why not capture the stories of the talented, passionate people I worked with? A job opened up that was about four levels higher than my current position. I didn’t know this at the time, but it’s almost impossible to make that career move without some serious approvals. I approached my manager with the opportunity and he said, “Go for it!” With his blessing, I typed up my application in a frenzy. Was I naive? Possibly. […]

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You can still wear white

Christian women with low self worth

I woke up my heart racing from another vivid dream. In this dream, I was distraught, crying out and repenting for not keeping the marriage bed clean. I wore shame like my personal scarlet letter, dragging it around with me wherever I went. The closer the day came to walking down the aisle the more I felt unworthy to wed Ashiram. I tried to shake the shame away, fumbled to the bathroom and repeated Romans 8:1, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” No matter how many times I said it, I still felt the weight of the woman I used to be. I eventually gave up, looked in the mirror and pleaded in prayer, “God help me to see myself as you see me.” As I began to tell Ashiram, my soon-to-be-husband, about my dream he sent me a song that came to mind as he prayed for me. Simply reading the title of the song brought tears to my eyes. As I listened to the lyrics, my tears quietly flowed down my cheeks. Through these words, he shined a light on the shame that was strangling me. “Baby you can still wear […]

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Bad Company Corrupts Good Character

character, scrambled eggs, breakfast recipe, God lessons, life lessons

The other morning I wanted to whip up scrambled eggs for breakfast. With two eggs cracked and in the bowl I went to grab the final egg to join its friends. As I cracked it on the side of the glass bowl not only did a dark liquid seep into the bowl, but the egg cracked in such a fragmented way that its juice launched out like a missile and came crashing onto my clothes. Immediately the revolting, foul odor made my stomach lurch and my gagging reflex shift into high gear. I clutched the counter as the putrid smell assaulted my senses. Ridiculously, I contemplated attempting to save the good yolks from the effects of the bad yolk, but as the grayish liquid began to expand and greet the bright, yellow yolks in the bowl I knew I had to count my losses. My breakfast which was perfectly fine two eggs in became contaminated by the third egg’s presence. I stripped off my rotten-egg peppered clothes, rushed the trash to the bin outside, opened wide every door for fresh air and doused myself in GermEx knowing if I didn’t take the extra measures to separate the stench from my […]

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Leaving Those You Love

Leaving Those You Love, mother and daughter, family

I ended up in tear-drenched shambles as my husband harmlessly suggested I make more friends in Uganda. “Honey, you are such a people person. You are not initiating friendships here.” He stated rather cautiously.  “You are waiting for people to reach out to you. Go make an effort!”   My husband is right. I am a people person, but this evening he shook the mountain of emotions inside of me and an avalanche began its crashing descent into our lives.   “I am tired of leaving people,” I spouted rather tersely. I exhaled, letting my defenses down, and explained, “All my life I’ve been leaving people, places and relationships.” He cocked his head at me with a look of confusion and I began to list every state, school and relationship I deserted inevitably thrusting me into a cycle of beginning life again. The thought of starting over doesn’t shine like a diamond. A fresh start isn’t as appealing as a solid stay. Relationships require work. Sometimes they begin easily, but sticking with them for the long-haul requires a hefty amount of energy and investment of time. Yes, I had a wide variety of friends back in the US, but I no […]

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Who Is The Perfect Christian Man?

perfect christian man to marry or date

Recently I was asked to speak at a women’s conference in Uganda. Outwardly I reflected my cool, calm demeanor, but inwardly my stomach instantly tied into knots. Passing out from anxiety seemed imminent. You can check out my blog Fear of Rejection to see where this reaction stems from. As my friend shared with me the topic for the conference I couldn’t help but roar with laughter.   Who is the perfect christian man?   I would have to be the bearer of bad news and tell these women the perfect man does not exist. I wish a perfect man existed because then my marriage would be easy with zero headaches or hassles. I hope no ladies are out there holding their breath for that perfect christian man to waltz on up and whisk you away as the sun dips behind a glowing horizon. As it stands, we may not be able to pick the perfect man, but we can choose a man who is pursuing the Lord with all his heart and aiming for godliness. A few years ago I asked my niece for advice on how to pick the person you should date. You would think she had […]

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9 Lessons Learned in the First 90 Days of Marriage

Christian Marriage

Today marks three months of marriage for my husband and I. There are days marriage is so easy I think everybody should do it, and there are days it’s so hard I wonder why anybody does it. On February 26, 2017 I wheeled my two suitcases and two carry on bags into DFW airport to begin a departure to a relatively unknown life. I felt this gnawing growing inside my core reminding me life as I’ve known it would never be the same. With a parade of thoughts swirling in my mind, I resolutely boarded the plane to take me halfway around the world to a different home. Some days I sensed I was hitting the ground running in Uganda, other days I felt like flattened roadkill plastered on the hot pavement wanting desperately for someone to scrape me off the ground. I’m thankful for a husband that constantly helps me navigate the new world I am in, extends grace when I am cranky, practices patience during my culture shock spasms and loves me without faltering. I am no expert in marriage, but I am an expert in learning and have compiled nine essential lessons I’ve learned in the first 90 days […]

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A Daughter Who Loves Her Dads

Father's Day

I sat down in my sturdy chair and flipped open the pages of the week’s recovery lesson. “How has the view of your earthly father impacted the view of your heavenly father and how has that view shaped your life?”  With a quizzical expression plastered on my face,  I questioned how the two could possibly be related.  I struggled with this for a while allowing God to use this question to probe and sift through the clutter in my heart. After wrestling through tough questions, acknowledging the pain divorce and distance can cause, and expressing my true, messy feelings God brought my heart and mind to a new place. As God replaced my heart of stone with a heart of flesh, this freshly beating heart began to birth something beautiful from the ashes of my life. I  discovered I have a perfect father in heaven and any father on earth will always fall short despite their deepest efforts. I came to a moment of revelation – God has blessed me with two dads on earth. Before encountering God’s grace, that is not something I would have said or believed, but God revealed to me that my dads have always loved me […]

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What the Traffic Officer Taught Me After Getting Pulled Over in Uganda

Kampala definitely fits the description of the city that never sleeps. The stores are buzzing with people and the roads are busy carrying hard-workers home at all hours of the night. Ashiram and I were driving home late one evening from across town with tired bodies and sleepy eyes. As we approached an intersection, the light turned yellow. I caught myself from raising the alarm thinking I might have the traffic light system wrong here. The light shifted to red as we coasted through the intersection. Immediately, I saw a traffic officer standing tall in his black boots and white uniform signaling to pull over. I looked at Ashiram and gently mumbled, “We ran a red light.” I’ve heard the stories of frustration that involved Mzungos (the term used when referring to white people) encountering traffic officers. The traffic officers would wave them down and point out an unusual issue with their vehicle after the routine inspection. Usually, the Mzungo offered some sort of bribe or food in their car to be released. I silently prepared for a similar experience where the color of my skin would falsely indicate to the officer the amount of money in my wallet. The […]

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Acclimating to Africa: My Multiple Meltdowns

I knew it was inevitable – culture shock.   I naively hoped my transition would be as smooth as gliding down a water slide on a hot, Texas summer day. Kind of like this.       I downplayed the fast-approaching drastic life change. Not only was I being transplanted to a new continent and culture, but I was also getting engaged and married within a month of landing. That’s a lot of life change condensed into a short window of time, but I couldn’t argue that God had been steadily preparing me the past six months for the life-altering move. In fact, most people in the bible where often called to live in foreign lands. God is an expert in this territory and I knew I couldn’t be in better hands. He wouldn’t lead me somewhere He hasn’t already been. That fact alone brought me comfort on the days I battled culture shock and turbulent emotions.   I arrived in Uganda and the chaotic, hazardous driving that once gave even my anxiety anxiety did not rattle me. I beamed on the inside thinking to myself, “I must have mastered culture shock! Tiffany 1, Culture Shock 0.” The tide quickly […]

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Better Is The End

“Better is the end of a thing than its beginning, and the patient in spirit is better than the proud in spirit.” Ecclesiastes 7:8   I started laboriously paying off my student loans over a year ago. I took a good, hard look at how much interest I would pay over ten years and that made me cringe to the point  I became aggressive in paying off my massive debt. The end of paying off my student loans was infinitely better than the day I sent the first payment. Better is the end of a thing that its beginning.   It’s one thing to enroll in college, it’s another feat to dedicate four years to earning a degree. The extended nights studying, the countless papers written, and the numerous hours spent in the classroom. Adrenaline rushes through us at the beginning of a new adventure, but that fire fades as we settle into the mundane activities it takes to patiently endure to the end. Adrenaline can cause acceleration, but doesn’t always give you an advantage over adversity. “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small.” Proverbs 24:10. Better is the end of a thing that its […]

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